Soaking in overflowing bubble baths with Andrew Lloyd Webber belting from the boombox. How could he say such a mean thing about me? What did I do to him? Joseph’s words would engrave themselves into my memory, making me question my appearance every time I saw my eyes in the mirror. I focus my almond-shaped eyes on the ground, careful not to attract attention to my discomfort, anger, and shame. No matter how many times he repeats it, the other kids keep laughing. My classmate pulls one eye up and the other down. This collection of memories matters a great deal because I experience life every day through the lens of my identity. Throughout my life, I have kept a record of my life’s journey with my five senses. Weak rough draft: Sharing an identity or background She draws a specific personal insight from each memory and uses the stories to demonstrate her qualities and values. In the final version, the student uses an extended metaphor of a museum to create a strong connection among her stories, each showcasing a different part of her identity. In the weak rough draft, there is little connection between the individual anecdotes, and they do not robustly demonstrate the student’s qualities. The writer builds her essay around the theme of the five senses, sharing memories she associates with sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste. This essay uses a montage structure to show snapshots of a student’s identity and background. Frequently asked questions about college application essaysĮssay 1: Sharing an identity or background through a montage.Essay 3: Showing the influence of an important person or thing. Essay 2: Overcoming a challenge, a sports injury narrative.Essay 1: Sharing an identity or background through a montage.
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